Lately, I’ve been lost. It is as if I’ve misplaced myself. Sort of like your carkeys or your purse. You just can’t remember where you left them or when you saw them last.

I’ve been trying to find a way to shake things up and create change, but each time I do so it turns out to be– unsuccessful. So this weekend I thought I’d go for an appointment at the salon. Maybe something drastic would shock me into finding where I put my pesky self.

And it happened again. It turned out a complete mess. And of course there is no way to paste my brown locks back onto my sad mug. I’m not sure what happened really. Perhaps I was too hasty in my decision to go for a shorter style and not clear enough on what I wanted as a result. The worst part is it cost a small fortunate. Fancy cut, fancy highlights, fancy price.

I’m in no mood to walk back into the fancy place and ask for an adjustment. What is a girl to do? Maybe when I find myself again, I’ll ask her. She would know how to fix this. She would know where to find success.

Today I received an official rejection. And I got the same notice of a second place finish, twice. As if finding out you’re first place loser, instead of first place isn’t enough of a bummer. It had to be repeated by mail and phone on the same day. So forgive me if I’m feeling a bit bruised.

There’s no other way to say it. Being someone’s second place sucks. No matter what the prize– a new house, a new job, a new flame… Finishing anything but first place is a heartbreaker. Let’s face it. Most of us want to win, not lose.

I gave it my best. Crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s. But in the end, I was missing something. It got me thinking. Perhaps the key to a first place finish is not really about being the “perfect fit.” Maybe it’s about coming in second a couple of times and figuring out what will make you better and stronger for the next round.

I’ve had this song stuck in my head. It just won’t get out. Adding to my frustration is not knowing what the hell the lyrics mean. Until tonight. A song before its time. O.K. listen up ladies, I’ve figured it. This is gonna be… wait for it, work it, yeah, that’s right. It’s gonna be uber fierce.

> cue Night Ranger<

Sister Christian, oh the time has come.
And you know that you’re the only one
To say “Hello. Was there any doubt?”

Congratulations Sister. Christian Siriano you rocked the runway on PR4 and made me proud. So proud I might reconsider my shyness of wearing the same pair of Pradas. We totally need to see more fierceness in this world.

Love, love, love it!

I’m super psyched about the PR4 finale tomorrow eve, but tonight it’s all about AI7 and the boys. This season has the talent and entertainment factors to keep me tuning in for more, more, more.

First… Totally in love with the use of instruments this season and unusual arrangements. I mean, who knew Lionel Richie’s “Hello” could be anything but an awkward junior-high dance anthem?

Second… Totally in love with the quirky styles. Halelujah for hair and dudes that sing songs from Shrek. I know, somebody did it before the green guy.

Third… Totally in love with Paula’s inability to like… complete a thought. I mean. I love you. You know that. Two words and I quote “Fa, Nominal.” I want what she’s having, please.

And in summation, my boy diva Danny Noreiga has me in stitches. TMTH! I’m not sure where this cutie’s career is headed, but I am totally entertained nonetheless. The attitude. The hair. The outfits. Danny boy, you’ve got my vote even if that singing sensation from Utah wins.

AI7. Could Reality TV be any better? Maybe. PR4 is 2MRO. Better be super fierce. Ferocia will be ready for the runway!